It stinks when you feel like you have nowhere really to run with your thoughts and concerns when it comes to your beliefs. I am a Catholic, in a new church where I know no one, who also listens to Joel Osteen, Rick Warren, Fr. Mike Schmitz and has now added a Lutheran pastor to my list.
I spent 16 years in Catholic school but felt little emotional pull until much later… but it has hit. I have a sincere desire to know God. My husband doesn’t really care too much though I am trying raise my children Catholic. I am not always happy with that decision. I feel like it can be an exclusive religion and rarely comes off as the “loving, accepting” environment for which my heart yearns.
Despite my doubts that my Catholic heritage feeds me as I would like, I stay because a) I am afraid that there is something there I am still missing and b)my entire family is Catholic and c) I have a lot of guilt and also fear that I wouldn’t necessarily find what I want elsewhere either.
So I supplement, but feel disconnected from what is my own religion. I also have a lot of fear of getting too involved even though my heart craves that kind of action.
I wonder sometimes if I am entirely alone in this?