Sitting in the dark, so grateful for the first fire ever in our new house that I did nothing to earn but was overtly blessed to get, I sit here struggling with faith.
I have so much. I have a beautiful house, heaf, healthy children, employment: while I’m by no means a millionaire or even wealthy we do well.
And I am grateful for and I love these things. I try to share my good fortune. I pray. I try not to take things for granted. I know I do not deserve them:
But it’s difficult. There are those very close to me going through a seeming opposite slope. Money is tight, fighting for the basics is an uphill battle and it is as if life is conspiring against them.
And I feel in my heart they are more deserving. They work hard. They believe hard. They pray hard.
I want them to enjoy these blessings too but God has not yet seen fit to pull them out of the fire. And so I question. I reach out to God for direction and I get radio silence. I want to know what God wants me to do next and I cannot hear Him no matter how I pursue.
Dear Jesus, I ask in your name that you guide my next steps. Help me know what you wanted me; help me know what the next steps need to be. I thank you for all that you have done, and all I believe you will do.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.